you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
