i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
