hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
