Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At least make sure they are 18
Why
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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