that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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