Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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