Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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