at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
porn star boner night. come get it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
