no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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