Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
