i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
