i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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