So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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