Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
