at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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