What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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