I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
