Are you still at the party or did I leave?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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