Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
