i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
