remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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