I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
