Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pooping to opera.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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