It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
