i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
