Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
