My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
