is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
