ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
