you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
