I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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