I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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