I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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