Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can text with my tongue
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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