singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
