I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
