Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
