Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
