She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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