My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
