how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
