i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
