he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
