just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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