Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
