was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
