the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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