This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
