Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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