you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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