its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
