Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
