Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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