Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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