had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone came in the potted fern
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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