Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
