so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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