There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize