I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
