am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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