Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I didn't shave. On purpose
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
