We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
