if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
