well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
