Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im holly from the hills drunk
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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