ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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