his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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