I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
