What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
