it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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