if only i could text you this smell
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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