My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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