im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
