Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
