yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
