Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
