I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
