nut hugger
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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