You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
