sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
