I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have feelings that need drinking.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
