I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
